(Since my last blog)...Our third installment of baby-cuteness arrived on schedule, Aaron Walter Wilcox was born November 15, 2010, and was my smallest bundle of joy at 7lbs 8oz. No stitches, no complications, ecstatic older brothers. Work has been more than busy, Jay is still with his Kent guard unit but is planning to transfer to a local unit here in Vancouver when his contract is up in August. I have been running again and have continued my grueling body strength and core workouts- which have paid off, as I am steadily shrinking out of my old clothes. I had a resolution at the beginning of the year to not buy new clothes, and so far it is the only resolution I have broken, LOL. My husband does not mind though, as far as he is concerned, being married to a MENSA candidate is not as important as my being "hot" or a good mom.
I have become more active in my church and am considering getting involved in ministry again. This is no small deal. When I was at Portland Bible College, one of the executive pastors prophesied that I would be used greatly in my gifting of prophecy and wisdom, that I would see the world in general and the hearts of people in particular with the "precision of an xray, an eagle's eye"- he said that I am motivated to have every detail of my life in place, no stone unturned, all things that separate me from God and his voice cleared out of my life to where I am continually hearing the voice of God- and only when I have done this will my heart be stirred to move in my calling.
So naturally, after hearing that, I didn't want to be called to do anything. I ran hard, I avoided, God spoke to me and used me where I was anyway. I ran again, God used me there, too. I was angry, I wanted to be one of those happy people who teach Sunday school, or maybe a missionary- people like Sunday school teachers and missionaries. People don't like to be told that their heart is turned away from God, that their hidden sin is about to be exposed, that God is calling out to them yet again before it is too late. I have lost track of the number of people I have talked to this year who tell me they only believe some of the Bible (the parts that suit them, not the parts that require them to actually change their ways and follow God).
I have seen all around me people who despise wisdom- "follow your heart, not your head, Natalie" I was told by one girl whose life has been a series of train wrecks. I responded to her with the Bible's caution that "the heart is deceitful above all else." God gave us a brain for a reason, throughout the book of Proverbs he implores us to seek wisdom and knowledge, to study God's word, to seek learning, to use our head. (Proverbs 8 is a fantastic reference)
There are also those who "seek" God, who "seek" wisdom, who "seek" knowledge- and then immediately reject it if it does not suit their purpose, if it is not the answer they wanted to hear. Like one of my children who ask for a cookie right before dinner, they do not hear the no's that I tell them, they keep asking over and over, not looking for my answer. They just want to hear what they want to hear. I guess we all do that sometime or another. We ask God for wisdom, we ask God for direction- and we immediately reject or lash out at the answer if it is not what we want it to be. God does not hide himself from us, He does not hide His will from us, he does not hide wisdom from us: ask and you will receive, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you. Just be ready for a "no" when you want a "yes;" for a "time to plant and grow" when you are looking for the "harvest and blessing."